Suramya's Blog : Welcome to my crazy life…

January 19, 2025

A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Corporate Jargon

Filed under: Humor — Suramya @ 9:53 PM

We all have heard about Corporate Jargon and some of us have used it (willingly or unwilling) as well. If you haven’t then Wikipedia defines Corporate Jargon as:

Corporate jargon (variously known as corporate speak, corporate lingo, business speak, business jargon, management speak, workplace jargon, corpospeak, corporatese, or commercialese) is the jargon often used in large corporations, bureaucracies, and similar workplaces. The language register of the term is generally being presented in a negative light or disapprovingly. It is often considered to be needlessly obscure or, alternatively, used to disguise an absence of information. Its use in corporations and other large organisations has been widely noted in media

A marriage proposal can be quite stressful and people go out of their way to make their proposal unique. Evan Barber from McSweeney’s decided to explore what

a marriage proposal spoken entirely in office jargon would look like and it is hilarious.

GARY: Me too. You said you wanted to see hockey-stick growth. Well, Iโ€™ve realized that I want to see hockey-stick growth tooโ€”in our relationship.
CINDY: Unpack that for me.
GARY: This relationship has been such a value-add. Some of my friends were worried that it would take too long for us to get into alignment. But you have been an absolute rockstar.
CINDY: I feel the same way, Gary. The ROI on this relationship has been unbelievable. Youโ€™ve really given 110 percent.

I understood all of the words and terms in the proposal and that is a little scary to think about.

– Suramya

November 8, 2024

Please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900’s

Filed under: Humor — Suramya @ 12:05 PM

I need to get this shirt for myself: ๐Ÿ™‚


Please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900’s

– Suramya

September 29, 2024

BBMP Prohibits driving on road during rainy season instead of fixing the water logging

Filed under: Humor,My Thoughts — Suramya @ 11:37 AM

I guess actually fixing the problems with the drainage that cause the roads in Bangalore to get flooded would have been too much work for BBMP, so instead of fixing the root issue they prohibit driving on the road during rainy season (which is half the year in Bangalore).

Caution Driving on this road is prohibited during the rainy season
Caution Driving on this road is prohibited during the rainy season

This sign is on the Wind Tunnel road, posted recently.

– Suramya

September 14, 2024

This is how you make someone regret winning a bet against you

Filed under: Humor — Suramya @ 11:14 AM

You have to admire this person’s dedication and the effort they put in to ensure that the recipient regrets winning the $15 gift card from him.

It would have been even more fun if they shared the video of the persons reaction to getting this package, but… we will have to do with our imagination.

– Suramya

September 13, 2024

New way to offset your carbon emissions

Filed under: Humor — Suramya @ 8:55 PM

Saw this car parked in DD a few days ago. I have heard of offsetting your carbon emissions but this is a bit much… ๐Ÿ™‚ The plant is literally growing in the mud-flap of the car.


Plant growing on a car

– Suramya

August 26, 2024

Anime character breaks free from Blender by hijacking its controls

Filed under: Humor,Tech Related — Suramya @ 10:58 AM

Kensyouen_Y has created a video using Blender depicting an Anime character model who becomes sentient and starts playing around with Blender’s UI, messing around with different tools and functionalities, changing her own hair color via Shader Nodes, and eventually crashing the software with her boisterous high jinks.

This is a phenomenally creative video, something that I couldn’t create in a 100 years. ๐Ÿ™‚ Check it out below.


Anime character breaks free and hijack’s the 3D software

Source: Boingboing.net: Anime character breaks free: Watch her hijack 3D software in video

– Suramya

August 22, 2024

Correct Pronunciation of SAP

Filed under: Humor,My Thoughts — Suramya @ 8:05 PM

Saw this sign while stuck in Bangalore traffic and it made me laugh. I mean, how annoyed do you have to be about the miss pronunciation of the name to take actual billboards out to correct people.


We are SAP (es-ay-pea)

– Suramya

June 13, 2024

Denmark recalls Instant ramen noodles because they are ‘too spicy’

Filed under: Humor,My Thoughts — Suramya @ 7:18 PM

I have always thought that the food in most western countries was insufficiently spicy and in some places felt like they just boiled the food before serving it. This was a great problem for me during my years in the US till I discovered Mexican food and I have similar issues in other western countries as well.

I was surfing the web earlier today and found this news article that talks about how Denmark is recalling three flavors of instant ramen noodles because they were too spicy and it made me laugh. Even better was the response from the company (emphasis added by me):

We understand that the Danish food authority recalled the products, not because of a problem in their quality but because they were too spicy,” Samyang told the BBC News. “The products are being exported globally. But this is the first time they have been recalled for the above reason.”

The recall note states:

The Danish Veterinary and Food Administration says that the amount of the chili pepper extract in one pack of 3x Spicy & Hot Chicken, 2x Spicy & Hot Chicken, or Hot Chicken Stew “is so high that they pose a risk of the consumer developing acute poisoning.”

“If you have the products, you should discard them or return them to the store where they were purchased,” the agency implores

Considering the folks there think a dish spiced with just pepper is too spicy this is not too surprising but is funny. I wonder how the MTR Ready to Eat Meals would fare over there. My guess is that it would face similar issues unless the spice level was reduced drastically.

Source: Boingboing.net: Instant ramen recalled for being too spicy

– Suramya

May 22, 2024

Can’t tell if this guy is serious or just a troll

Filed under: Humor — Suramya @ 11:53 PM

It used to be quite easy to figure out when people were being serious or just posting nonsense because they are trolling. Unfortunately that is no longer the case. We have folks who actually believe that there are no such things are birds, others still insist that the earth is flat, still others think that Reptilian overlords have replaced humans in power to control humanity and so many more conspiracy theories.

But this one is just… wow! I honestly can’t tell if the guy is serious or not. I looked at their twitter feed and still couldn’t tell.


Christians against Satellites

If this is not a troll posting then they need serious help…

– Suramya

April 17, 2024

When an Engineering Manager submits a PR

Filed under: Humor — Suramya @ 10:48 AM

Saw this in my feed and it made me laugh:

When the team lets the engineering manager submit a PR. 33 year old fruit bat with arthritis goes on 'flights' to keep him active
When the team lets the engineering manager submit a PR

Dedicated to all the other EM’s out there. ๐Ÿ™‚

– Suramya

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